What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Have you ever had this conversation with a little one? Often the response of an adult is to praise children’s courageous imaginations and optimistic enthusiasm when they say, “I want to be a vet doctor”, “I want to be an astronaut”, “I want to be a football player …”  And then as we begin our teen or young adult years, there are some of us that may have had our dreams deflated by an adult's negative response growing up, “You could never …”, “You don’t have what it takes”, “With those grades you won’t ever be  . . .”, or even worse you share your innermost passion for something you dream to be, and it’s followed by the adult’s fanatical laughter.

I grew up in the Catholic church and grade school. My mother was the school librarian, which allowed me extra time after school to have personal conversations with the principle. Principal Sister Mariam had a heart for children. She once shared with me her mission work in another country with children who were in desperate situations from hunger, no schools, and no shoes. Astonished, I would hang on every word that she would share with me. She became my role model. I wanted to be just like her. This was my inception of dreaming to become a nun. I fantasized of wearing the white wedding gown, my father and mother picking out my ring, and preparing for my lifetime commitment. I had visions over and over of the ceremony, walking down the aisle approaching my father’s shepherd, my heart pounding with excitement to be the “bride of Christ”.  I wanted to be married to doing God’s good work. I wanted to be his servant from a very early age. There were many days filled with long intimate conversations with my heavenly Father alone in the woods where I lived. Which makes sense as to why I feel closest to him in the backdrop of nature.

Count yourself extremely blessed if what you dreamed to be at a very young age, is what you are living out today! However, for most of us there are several reasons why our dreams of what we wanted to become or be doing as an adult did not materialize. There are situations like childhood trauma, negative words from a teacher, family division, or moving to a new school district. And then there are other influences that can squash our childhood dreams. It is stressful enough for young junior high students selecting high school classes, but now they are preparing for what will determine what they will do for the rest of their life. They are asked to make such a huge decision and yet have not lived out experiences to help shape that direction. And in that process, you may have heard, “Honey, you cannot turn your love of tea parties into a career”, or “passion for fixing cars into a well-paid career.” Nothing deflates your dreams more than when someone you thought you could trust and count on for encouragement deflates all your hopes and dreams, and now you must start over with a new dream and passion to fit what is acceptable in other’s eyes. This can become such a distraction that will block us from hearing what God really wants for us that will further his purpose for his good.

Whether your experience was a role model like Sister Mariam that went with her passion, which then led to altering a little girls dream, or an adult's negative words that deflated your dreams, spending time with God will always open doors to where he wants us to be. Now, I never became a nun. I married twice, yes twice! And had two sons. I had childhood traumatic events that led to future toxic relationships and years of therapy. Yet I found JOY and PEACE amid crisis as an adult. I found that I am God’s little girl, always will be. And my mission field just looks different than I envisioned. His love for me has never changed, even as I grew angry with him, pushed him away and denied him, he NEVER left me.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10 (NIV)

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)

He was right beside me waiting for me to turn my head to look at him. I know he was right there the whole time. I can’t say anyone else has ever been there for me like that in this earthly place I live. When I returned to him in tears of desperation on my knees, I felt his holy spirits’ presence that allowed me to fall into his warm embrace. I don’t know how to explain it, or even how to show you. What I do know is when I began to seek Him once again, I saw him work in amazing ways in my life and in the life of others around and through me. My promise to stay faithful to Christ’s leading was renewed. What I discerned, was if I wasn’t seeking to serve Christ, I was losing out, not because of others who hurt me, discouragement, or negative words, but because I wasn’t living out God’s purpose for me. God had a gift waiting for me that I have not taken before. I had to understand from life’s experiences what it truly meant to, “die to self is to gain,” to experience joy and peace that is what he had waiting for me.

“You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.” Isaiah 26 (NIV)

 
We all have our own life experiences that have led us to where we are today. They have shaped us and the testimonies we must share. Often, when we hang on to the negative experiences and words, it keeps us from keeping our promise as a Christian to fulfill our purpose that God has planned for us. It is important that we remember and respect God’s wishes for us, so his work in us is possible.

“The LORD will work out his plans for my life — for your faithful love, O LORD, endures forever. Don’t abandon me, for you made me.”
Psalm 138:8 (NLT)

Ask yourself:

Where have you felt closest to God? Go there or someplace similar and reflect on the following.

1. What seems to excite you and create a passion in you?
2. What seems to bring you joy?
3. How can that be a ministry that would bring God’s blessing to others.
4. What is standing in the way of you fulfilling this?
5. Pray and listen.
6. Serve HIM

Seek God...Speak to God...Praise God...Ask God
Stay Faithful to God