Before I wrote “True Reflection,” I struggled for 40 years with the concept that I was important and mattered to anyone. My insides permeated an unpleasant belief that I was unworthy, unwanted, and served no purpose. Personal circumstances and crises enhanced my core beliefs. My beliefs saturated negative opinions of myself. Depression stirred a sense of hopelessness that erupted in distorted thoughts that led to cutting, abuse of prescription drugs, suicidal thoughts, and poor decisions. I unrealistically managed my negative thoughts, spiraling my emotions and mental health out of control for seven years. By the time I was 18, my actions became predictably obvious and unmanageable. My decision-making became destructive. Right before my 19th birthday, I spent weeks in a local hospital, and one of my attempts to take my life almost became successful. I had distanced myself from family, friends, and God during this time. They were no longer who or what I called upon in my time of need. I created a place where I felt utterly alone.

God had the wheel and continued to steer me back towards him. I returned to the church and the spiritual growth it fosters because of my children. In 2008 my faith exploded with a deep desire to reconnect myself in a relationship with God. At this time, I also desired a relationship with my savior, Jesus Christ, which had not been genuinely present before. I knew of Jesus but did not know Jesus.

Getting to know the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit all over again was the beginning of understanding a true sense of forgiveness, grace, and joy, even in times of trials. It is a daily task to remind myself of my purpose and worth. Through scripture and time in the presence of God, I find comfort. I believe I am enough in all circumstances with God’s help and my fellowship with Jesus. It is an ongoing practice and process until I meet Jesus face to face. I share True Reflection with you, hoping you will lift your eyes up to your creator and find your precious identity through God’s written word.

Lisa Stenger

“But Ruth replied, “Don’t urge me to leave you or to turn back from you. Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God.”
Ruth 1:16 NIV